Autistic Girls
Autism in Girls: What Parents Should Know About Signs, Misdiagnosis, and Why It Often Looks Different
For years, autism has been misunderstood, and girls have often been left out of the picture entirely.
Most early research on autism was based on how it presents in boys. That means many girls who were autistic flew under the radar, often misunderstood, misdiagnosed, or missed completely. Even today, many autistic girls aren’t identified until much later, if at all.
As a result, countless girls grew up thinking something was “wrong” with them, when in reality, their brains were just wired differently—and beautifully.
So, how does autism show up differently in girls?
Every autistic person is different, but girls often present in more subtle or less stereotypical ways than boys. They may be:
Highly verbal or chatty
Extremely empathetic or sensitive
Social but exhausted after socializing
Prone to intense special interests that are more “socially acceptable” (animals, books, people, nature)
Skilled at copying others’ social behavior, even if it feels confusing or overwhelming
Perfectionistic or anxious
Often masking or hiding how hard things really feel
Because many autistic girls learn to “blend in,” their sensory sensitivities, emotional needs, and communication differences often go unnoticed—until they start to burn out or break down from holding it all together.
What is masking?
Masking is when an autistic person hides their true thoughts, reactions, or needs to appear more “typical.” It’s common in girls and can look like:
Forcing eye contact even if it’s uncomfortable
Copying social scripts or mannerisms
Smiling or laughing to fit in, even if they feel overwhelmed
Hiding stims (like fidgeting or humming) to avoid standing out
Masking can be exhausting—and over time, it can lead to anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and even identity confusion. Many autistic girls (and women) later say they didn’t know who they really were because they were always trying to be who others expected them to be.
Why is this important for parents to know?
Because early support starts with understanding. Many autistic girls are missed because they don’t fit the outdated, male-centered profile. They may be misdiagnosed with anxiety, ADHD, OCD, or simply labeled as “shy,” “dramatic,” or “too sensitive.”
When we know what to look for, we can better support our children’s real needs—not just the ones that are most visible.
If you’re wondering whether your daughter (or student) might be autistic, here are some signs to explore:
Emotional intensity, often with frequent meltdowns at home
Strong need for routines, rituals, or sameness
Sensory sensitivities (e.g., to clothing, sounds, lights)
Deep empathy, but trouble setting boundaries
Struggles with friendships, especially as social rules get more complex
Tendency to mimic others to fit in
Feeling different but not knowing why
You don’t need a diagnosis to start offering support. What matters most is that your child feels seen, safe, and understood.
At Hana Speech Therapy, we take a neurodiversity-affirming approach that honors how each child—regardless of gender—communicates, regulates, and connects. We support girls and gender-diverse kids who may be navigating autism in quieter or less recognized ways.
You don’t have to wait until your child is struggling to get support that truly fits.
